


Sakura & The Beginning of an End

by butterflydreaming (chrysalisdreams)



Category: Cardcaptor Sakura
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Clear Card Arc, Gen, Manga Canon, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-15 17:23:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7231813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrysalisdreams/pseuds/butterflydreaming
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A retelling of the Clear Card Arc from the point of view of the supporting characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kinomoto and Daidouji

**Author's Note:**

> The canon dialog draws from the translation by INKI, but after seeing the translation by Cardcaptorcoconut, I decided to go all the way off the ranch and put it in my own style. I'm already making up a lot, anyway!

_Whispers. We float in a place like a dream. It isn’t strange to us. We are always here, unless SHE calls us forth. We float, as if in darkness. We are together._

_...cards, created by Clow…_

_...reincarnated under the power of a star, our new master, Sakura…_

_There is a presence. Someone is here. Do we know…? Familiar. Light in the dark, not our star, yet the way the sun is a star in the darkness of space. Family? No. No moon, no sun. No Yue. No Cerberus -- he is not sleeping now to guard the book that holds us. They have not been sealed in the book for some measure of time. The one who is here… has power._

_Our master enters the dream. She glows with her own light, warm and lovely. We love her. She sees us. There -- her touch, petal light._

_“Clear?”_

⭐☆⭐

Touya was done with his food and had started washing dishes, a large stack that included the ones from dinner left to soak overnight. He had eaten Sakura’s buttered toast and egg when they got cold, and Fujitaka had a pan warm to replace the meal. The first egg had been a false start after the sound of Sakura’s bedroom door opening, but she had not come down. “Sakura-san will be rushed to her first day of middle school if she doesn’t come down for breakfast soon,” Fujitaka Kinomoto commented to his son. “I wonder if I should say something about not playing video games until after school.”

Touya rinsed the suds off a cup. He smirked. He shook his head. “She would still be late every morning.”

Fujitaka wanted his daughter to have a wholesome meal before school. It was one thing he was sure children needed. When Touya had reached his teen years, his appetite had shot up, fueling his height growth. Back then, Fujitaka had fed his children (and himself) sugary, cold cereal for breakfast and sent them to school with lunches of ready-to-eat packaged food. Nadeshiko, who could ruin Valentine’s chocolate, hadn’t been a cook, and Fujitaka, who had grown up without good parental role models, had a sweet tooth. Touya’s pediatrician had recommended more protein for the growing boy, and suggested eggs as an inexpensive, easy-to cook option. Fujitaka had been embarrassed. He started watching cooking shows. After that, better nutrition habits took hold.

He checked the clock. He would leave as soon as Sakura was off to school, and still be late to teaching his first class of the day. His grad students were capable of minding his classes, otherwise he would not have been able to spare the time.

“Anyway,” Touya continued, “Sakura has a gold medal in bolting breakfast.”

Fujitaka’s response was interrupted by sounds of Sakura’s fast footsteps. He left her breakfast cooking and called up “Good morning!” as she came down the stairs. “I was just about to call you,” he said. “It’s almost…”

For a minute, he was at a loss for words. Nadeshiko, with an angelic twinkling in her heavenly eyes, hovered nearby. She smiled at Fujitaka, took another long look at their daughter, and then flew away until she vanished.

He was glad that Nadeshiko had stopped in for this moment. Sakura looked like a young lady, no longer a little girl. The crisp new uniform seemed to emphasise how little he had been present for her childhood. The archeologist had stolen an ephemeral treasure away from the father.

“Is something weird?” Sakura asked.

“No,” Fujitaka answered quickly to ease her embarrassment. He picked up his breakfast plate and fork from the table. He further hid his emotions with a  smile. “It seems like only a little while ago that you were showing off your elementary school uniform on your first day.” He saw the beginning of self consciousness start to shadow her expression, so he assured, “The middle school uniform suits you, too. It’s very cute!” He looked at Touya and perceived that his son agreed. “Right, Touya-kun?” he prompted.

“Nice monster suit,” Touya commented to his sister. He smiled this time, instead of delivering his jibe deadpan.

“It’s not a suit! It’s a uniform!”

Sakura was flushed and angry at Touya’s teasing, but she would spring back to cheerfulness, as usual, as soon as her mind turned to something else. Touya wasn’t as cruel as he pretended. His verbal jabs at Sakura were a deflection, to make his deep caring for his little sister less apparent on the surface. It didn’t work. Touya was a doting brother in deeds, even if his words seemed unkind.

Fujitaka disrupted their mutual sniping with a reminder of the time and a tap on his watch. He put Sakura’s breakfast on the table.

Sure enough, Sakura’s sunny smile made its appearance as she took her seat. “Good morning, Okasan,” she said to the framed photo of Nadeshiko on the sideboard. Fujitaka had chosen a very old photo, from before he had met her, one from when Sakura’s mother was Sakura’s age. It was a copy of one from the photo albums of the Masaki Amamiya, Sakura’s great-grandfather.

Sakura ate her breakfast with a speed acquired from practice. With a fast “Gochisousama!” she blew out the door and on her way to school.

Fujitaka folded up his apron. “I have to leave for work, too,” he said by way of apology to Touya for leaving him with the dirty pans, “and I will be home late tonight because of a faculty meeting.” He didn’t have to explain; the schedule was on the whiteboard. It was that persistent guilt this morning that he had missed out on important time with his children that made him say it. Touya was at university now. He seemed quieter, more turned inward, since the last months of high school. Grown up, despite the way he still teased Sakura. Fujitaka suddenly missed the chubby baby boy taking his first (early!) steps across the same kitchen floor, small fingers clutched around his mama’s fingers, gurgling with happiness.

“One of the other teachers has been bringing cupcakes to meetings. She refuses to take any home. Should I accept a few extra to bring back for Tsukishiro-kun?”

“Bring an extra for Sakura,” Touya replied. “Extra sweet stuff doesn’t stay around long.”

“She has a good appetite. You did, too, when you were growing.”

“Something like that, yeah,” Touya responded.

At times like these, Fujitaka wished he were more able to ask direct question, or that Touya was less reticent. He would have like to tell his children about Nadeshiko since she suddenly appeared to him one day not long ago. Nevertheless, they often understood each other without words to populate the unspoken conversation. Fujitaka liked to think he communicated to them that he was open to dialog, a ready attention whenever they needed him.

He bid goodbye for the day to his eldest, put on his shoes, and located his briefcase. Heading out to the car, he hoped traffic would be light on the way to the university where he taught, to help him make up for the lost time.

⭐☆⭐

Tomoyo’s mother, Sonomi Daidouji, paused at Tomoyo’s bedroom door. Sonomi’s running clothes indicated that she had just finished her morning run. She looked as fresh as if she hadn’t been exercising since sunrise. Tomoyo gave her mother a welcoming smile, and Sonomi took the invitation.

Tomoyo continued brushing her hair until Sonomi reached her. Then Sonomi took over smoothing her daughter’s long hair until it looked burnished. “Wouldn’t you like to wear some barrettes today?” Sonomi asked, ever hopeful. She wouldn’t coerce Tomoyo into Nadeshiko-style waves and ornaments anymore, but she wasn’t above suggesting them on a special occasion. Sometimes, Tomoyo indulged her mother.

This time, she gave her mother another sweet smile and reached for a hair elastic. She tied her hair simply, finishing with a ribbon, but let Sonomi help with the bow. “Thank you, Okasama.” She stood up from the bench at the vanity mirror. She ran her hands over the seams of her well-made uniform, straightening her perfect collar and impeccable skirt pleats.

“The tie is very becoming,” Sonomi observed. There was the slight shadow of a pout in her expression at being denied coiffeur frippery.

“I can’t wait to see Sakura-chan in her new uniform, too,” Tomoyo said. It was bait to make her mother smile, but that didn’t mean that the imagining didn’t fill Tomoyo’s chest with warm feeling. Just the thought of Sakura made her glow.

Sonomi became animate with happy anticipation. “I want to see the photos you take today!” she exclaimed. “You capture her cuteness so perfectly!”

Tomoyo clasped her hands over her chest. “Sakura-chan is a perfect subject!”

“Tonight, tell me all about your first day while we have dinner,” said Sonomi. She turned and started out toward the hallway. “After six, I have a clear schedule. Would you like to go out to celebrate?”

“Since it’s a school night,” Tomoyo began thoughtfully.

“We’ll have something delivered, then,” Sonomi decided, undaunted in her cheerful determination to mark the occasion. Her bright mood put spring in her step as she trotted out of Tomoyo’s room.

Tomoyo had ample time before she needed to meet Sakura on the way to school. She was dressed and groomed, and eaten a light breakfast, alone, earlier. She used the spare time to organize and edit her photos from the Tomoeda Middle School entrance ceremony. Of the ones suitable for the school’s journalism club, she sorted out a few and and tried them with various filters. That filled her morning until it was time to be driven to school. The lovely candid photos of Sakura would wait until Tomoyo had uninterrupted time to give them due care.

Every year since second grade, she had met Sakura on the way to school, at the little foot bridge, and then they would walk the last distance together. Sakura’s route from home to Tomoeda Middle School would be much the same as her former school route. Tomoyo had the chauffeur drop her off at the tree-lined street a block from where she would meet Sakura. Although Tomoyo knew her bodyguards would continue watching her a while longer, she bid them her usual polite goodbye until they would retrieve her after school.

Getting out early meant that she could photograph one of her (many) favorite moments of Sakura: when Sakura was lost in thought, unaware yet of Tomoyo. High on Tomoyo’s favorites was the moment Sakura saw her. In the flip of a second, Sakura’s eyes would widen, as would her delighted smile, at the sight of Tomoyo. Tomoyo rarely remembered to even try to capture that moment in a photograph, so fully swept away by Sakura’s attention that it wouldn’t occur to her to do anything but exist for Sakura to notice.

Through the trees, Tomoyo spotted a hint of auburn hair and recognized Sakura. Tomoyo didn’t call out. Instead, she strolled along, hidden by hedges and tree trunks, following Sakura in a parallel path and snapping silent photos. The trees, full with pink blossoms, made a dreamy backdrop of dappled sunlight through delicate pastel color. The petals dropped over Sakura like soft confetti.

Quietly sighing with visceral and familiar longing, Tomoyo adjusted the aperture on her camera to a soft focus that would bring out the ethereal quality of Sakura’s expression. Through the lense, she watched Sakura’s light smile fade as a cloudy thought passed over her sunny mood. Sakura stopped walking, and her chin dropped downward. A look like disappointment passed across her features.

Then Sakura turned her head, and her posture changed. Her eyes lifted, their green catching sunlight, and she stared at someone who had come into view. Tomoyo edged around until she was at a better angle to see and discovered that the newcomer was Syaoran.

Tomoyo blinked in surprise, but she couldn’t hold back a smile. A frantic question raced through her mind: video, or stills? She decided quickly to continue using her camera in hand, rather than risking the noise of opening her bag and therefore wrecking the moment unfolding between reunited sweethearts.

Sakura’s expression had transformed. She continued staring at Syaoran as if she were seeing a vison, a mix of stunned belief and absolute joy bubbling beneath her sweet face. Syaoran, for his part, stood a courteous distance from Sakura, his focus entirely on her. Tomoyo used their mutual locked attention to slip in closer, so that she had an excellent vantage point behind a tree at the path’s edge. The distance shots would be dramatic, but the photos she would be able to take from a mere few feet away would be priceless.

Syaoran, she observed, seemed both taller and more grown up. They had all grown since the end of their last big adventure together, but the difference in Syaoran was noteable. Only a few months ago, he would have been pinker than the cherry blossoms with blushing, just because of Sakura’s intense attention. His stillness would have been a robot stiffness. His calm, quiet voice would have had a stammer, speaking to Sakura. This Syaoran had a maturity worthy of a prince. Tomoyo was pleased. If she had to lose to Syaoran -- or rather, Sakura’s feelings for Syaoran -- she was all the more happy for Sakura that Sakura’s most important person was worthy.

She focused on what she could have of Sakura. Getting good photos was easy. Her muse had gotten over her initial shock of seeing Syaoran and flew into his arms with impulsive joy. She dropped her bookbag, forgotten, in her flight to him, and her embrace knocked his bookbag out of his hand. He didn’t drop the teddy bear he was holding, however. Tomoyo knew why: it was Sakura-bear, the teddy bear Sakura had made with her own hands.

No, it was too cute, too wonderful. Tomoyo wouldn’t be satisfied with still shots. And now, Sakura and Syaoran held each other closely. Not anticipating Sakura’s unabashed embrace, she had missed filming that moment of reunion, but she would not fail to capture every moment after. While the blissful couple held each other in their own happy world, Tomoyo took her video camera out of her bag and began filming. Ever the artist, she didn’t simpy turn the camera onto the couple. She brought the scene in as if from a romantic movie. Here was not the climactic ending, but the pure and hopeful beginning of a universal story. The spring blossoms, the fresh uniforms, and the light of morning framed it beautifully in symbolism. Syaoran was every honorable hero who had ever earned the love of his leading lady, and Sakura was…

...Sakura was the center of the world. Her perfection was as ephemeral as the fluttering blossoms and as timeless as the return of spring. Her every moment was like her namesake, each unique and glorious and yet all undeniably _Sakura._

They spoke to each other softly. Tomoyo’s directional microphone picked up the words and recorded them. Tomoyo watched Sakura’s body language. Sakura looked more peaceful than ever, but her feet shifted slightly, like a tiny happy dance, channeling off the excitement of her joy. Together with the one she loved most -- that they were both able to be so open with each other, so in harmony that they could closely embrace without hesitation, was a marvel.

Either they remembered their usual, bashful selves, or Tomoyo gave herself away in some small way, because when they broke away from each other, they both immediately turned to look in her direction.

“Don’t mind me,” she teased.

Caught, she stepped out from behind the tree and approached, pretending not to notice Sakura’s noise of dismay. Sakura blushed a vivid scarlet, all the way to the curve of her ears. “I got a shot of a particularly cute Sakura today,” Tomoyo declared.

Oddly, Syaoran -- who in the past would have been as red as a hot coal by now -- smiled, laughed mildly, and said, “I didn’t notice you, Daidouji-san.” Was he so much more confident and mature already?

“I got the best shot of Sakura,” she said, while covertly watching for reaction, “because she was alone with you, Li-kun! Thank you very much!” She let a merry laugh escape.

That did it. Syaoran lost his cool smile and colored with embarrassment to match Sakura’s. She imagined she could even see the steam shooting out of his ears.

Sakura hadn’t notice something important about Syaoran, Tomoyo guessed. And Tomoyo needed them not to be paying attention to her so that she could get one more perfect scene to complete the drama. To point out the overlooked detail, she said, “By the way, that uniform is--”

Sakura looked up and focused on Syaoran again. “That’s right!” she exclaimed, finally seeing it. Syaoran completed the thought.

“Starting today,” he confirmed, “I’m a first year of Tomoeda Middle school, too.” His proud expression returned. Tomoyo put a better name to it than “proud”: _triumphant_.

She had her camera on the couple again. Sakura was being overwhelmingly cute again, crying out, “Yay! We’ll be together at school, too!”

“Yeah,” Syaoran agreed.

“Wouldn’t it be great if we’re in the same class?”

Syaoran made another sound of affirmation.

“But it’s fine,” Sakura continued to cheer, “if they’re different, because we can still be together.”

Syaoran smiled, but his throat moved as he swallowed. He opened his mouth to speak. Gazing at Sakura, meeting her eyes with his, he seemed to say volumes to her without saying more than, “...Sakura.”

It was enough for Sakura. She held eye contact with him. A soft smile of glowing happiness answered him.

The moment broke, or was stashed away, rather, and they realized Tomoyo’s presence, camera rolling, again. Stiff with renewed embarrassment adorable to behold, Sakura began walking. “If we don’t hurry, we’ll be late!” she said in an awkwardly shrill, overly loud voice. “Let’s go to school!” She picked up the pace.

Tomoyo ran to catch up, still filming steadily, and caught Sakura’s hand in her free hand. She left Syaoran behind them. He could easily catch up when he was ready.

⭐☆⭐


	2. Hiiragizawa

The crook of Kaho’s embrace was absolutely perfect, Eriol thought, and he snuggled in closer on the couch. Warm noon sun through the windows, a fine spring day, and a fine woman made for contentment worth several lifetimes. He held her with one arm around her back, the other resting on her skirt, fingers intertwined with Kaho’s. His cheek leaned against her poplin-covered breast.

He was still, in appearance, very young. After the final conversion of Clow’s magic, he could have nudged his growth to make up for lost time, but… Kaho was an unusual lady, and Eriol liked that too much about her to cheat them both of a rare opportunity. He was, in spirit and mind, quite old enough to give adult consent to all aspects of their relationship, even without counting past life years. Physically, he could only be a young boy once. He could be a boy for as long as he wanted, but once grown, physical maturity could not be reversed.

Being a boy was fun. He had been enjoying his Peter Pan stint long enough to have begun wanting to grow up, as it were, but to enjoy the novelty of going through puberty at a normal pace. What a difference to have the second experience of it with all the knowledge of the first, and with a lifetime between them to make it all surprising in ways, still.

Nakuru pouted over the little changes to her master even at nature’s slow pace. She was unnerved by his minor height increase and loss of baby fat. Spinel only complained, if his sardonic comments could be called complaints, of the need to stay in small form for greatest comfort. Half Clow Reed’s magic was still ample, but it was  _ less _ , and conservation of it, prudent. Spinel was allowed to eat more, for which he didn’t complain.

Another aspect of the split was that moon and sun companions were more often hungry. Certainly a downside when they both flanked the couch and Eriol’s comfy clutch with Kaho. “Lunch, soon?” Spinel asked, fluttering over Eriol’s head on fast butterfly wings. In small form, his petition had a irrefutable cuteness.

“I’m hungry,” Nakuru said.

Kaho stirred. Eriol shifted and sat up. He gave his magical creations a rueful smile. Kaho was ever patient with Spinel and Ruby Moon, and when she spoke, her voice held no indication of irritation. “Will you help me make some sandwiches?” she asked Nakuru. She pushed herself forward, then up from the couch. “What kind of tea shall we have, Suppi?”

“He wants something with… sugar!” Nakuru pronounced. She grinned. Making her counterpart drunk on sugar never failed to entertain her. Secretly, Eriol agreed with her.

Kaho led Nakuru and Suppi away to the kitchen, but not before giving Eriol’s hand a loving squeeze. Left alone in the room, Eriol stretched, then readjusted himself into a lounging position. Lucky for him, the twenty-first century held more amusements than the centuries of Clow Reed’s life. He had no need to take up tobacco, nor did Eriol drink alcohol overmuch. He was happily monogamous with his graceful, clever Kaho Mizuki.

He picked up his new mobile phone, a very new model of the latest design, and unlocked the screen. Modern technology was an endless source of delight for him. Every day, the ordinary world became less ordinary, becoming more like magic in a thousand ways. Contemporaries rarely seemed to realize it.

As it was too early and hour to speak with Yue, and Eriol wanted to chat with Sakura before she went to bed, he dialed her phone number first. He sat up on one elbow and listened to the line ringing, once, twice…

“Oh, Eriol-kun! Hi!” Sakura answered. She was slightly breathless.

“Hello, Sakura-san,” Eriol greeted. “Is this a bad time?” He heard loud video game music in the background.

“Um, no!”answered Sakura, full of cheer. “I was brushing my teeth, and my phone was on my desk. I ran a little. I’m not busy! Kero-chan is playing Playstation.”

“That’s good. It’s not too late in the evening?”

“No. Eriol-kun, you aren’t in school? It’s not a school day for you?”

Eriol laughed lightly. “Sometimes I am wicked and don’t go,” he explained.

“But your studies!” Sakura exclaimed.

Eriol could tell that she was scandalized by his truancy. “I was eleven for a very long time,” Eriol told her. “My grades won’t be harmed by a tarnished attendance record. Speaking of school, how was your day?”

Kaho came out of the kitchen. She carried a tea tray. When she saw that Eriol was on the phone, she poured a cup for him and set it down on the coffee table. He made a gesture of thanks and sat up straight.

Suppi and Nakuru followed Kaho out of the kitchen. They  both went silent, so that they would not bother their master while he was in conference. Kaho offered Eriol a chocolate biscuit, but he waved it away for the time being.

“The best,” Sakura said. “Syaoran-kun is back!”

“He’s back in Japan to stay?” Eriol asked with interest. “What happy news!”

“That’s right! Syaoran-kun is going to Tomoeda Middle School.” She paused. Kero-chan’s shouts had turned loud. “We’re not in the same class,” she continued, “but the classes are right next door to each other!”

He could hear the pure happiness in her voice. “Sakura-san is in Class 2, right?” he recalled. He took a guess at Syaoran’s assignment. “Class 1? Class 3?”

“It’s Class 3!” Sakura replied. “With Naoko-chan and Yamazaki-kun.”

Eriol remembered them. “It’s too bad about our group being split up.” Eriol had hope to continue the friendship with Yamazaki. Unfortunately, the boy had not kept up his replies to Eriol’s emails. Long distance friendships were hard to maintain. Yamazaki didn’t have the temperament for it.

Sakura sounded optimistically resigned. “Yeah. I’m with Chiharu-chan and Tomoyo-chan. It’s sad that Rika-chan is going to a different school, but we write letters, email each other, and send pictures!”

“I always enjoy your letters and photos, myself,” Eriol said. He spoke while distracted by Kaho’s significant looks at him. Once Kaho had realized with whom he was speaking on the phone, she had been waiting for her chance to take the phone.

“I really like your pictures from England, too!” Sakura said. “And the ones from Mizuki-sensei,” her tone took on a breathless quality, “too.”

Eriol grinned. “Ah, that’s right,” he commented. Sakura had always turned dreamy around Kaho, a reaction to Kaho Eriol could sincerely understand. He handed to phone over to her without alerting Sakura.

“So do I.” Kaho’s voice toook on a lilt as the surprise unfolded. “A letter from Sakura-chan is a treat.”

“Wah, Mizuki-sensei!” Sakura exclaimed.

“You’re doing well, Sakura-chan?” Kaho asked.

“Mhm! I’ve been wearing the scented lotion you sent for my birthday. It’s very nice.”

Kaho’s smile dimpled her cheeks. “I’m glad you like it! It’s from a shop here that has the nicest things. Someday, when you can visit, I would love to show you.”

“I would like that, too!” Sakura said.

“I’m going to hand the phone back to Eriol,” Kaho said. “It was nice to hear your voice again. I know it’s after eight o’clock there, so I won’t keep you.”

Eriol took the phone back from Kaho in exchange for his empty tea cup for refilling. Kaho took it back to the tea cart. “She was looking at me for a while like she wanted to say hello to you,” he chuckled. Spinel was on his second biscuit, he saw. Eriol would need to finish up the call before his sun companion started to get out of hand.

Sakura said, “You understand each other well, huh?”

They did, Eriol agreed. Kaho, Nakuru, and Spinel were his close family, however odd a family that was. “A benefit of living together,” he said. Sakura would come to understand now how it was to have the one you love close by. He was glad for her. “You’ll get to know the feeling,” he told her. “Now that you’ll have the one you want to get to know best close by, won’t you?”

Her answer came through the phone connection with a dreamy quality. “Yeah.”

He was reminded all at once that she was still very young. In spite of her magic adventures, she only had the life experience reasonable for her age. “Well, then, you may have good dreams tonight,” he teased. He heard a strangled noise. “You said that recently you haven’t been having dreams, right?” he persisted, somewhat more seriously.

“That’s right,” Sakura agreed, still sounding bashful. “It’s because I’m busy studying and doing club activities, I think.”

“It’s important not to push yourself too hard. You need to stay healthy,” Eriol advised. He thought about saying more. Kaho gestured a reminder of the hour -- it would be close to Sakura’s bedtime on a school  night -- and the readiness of lunch, so instead he wrapped up the call. “Well, goodnight,” he said. “Tell Kerberos I said hello.”

“Goodnight, Eriol-kun. And Mizuki-sensei!” Sakura added.

“When are we going to travel to visit Sakura-chan again?” Nakuru asked once Eriol ended the call.

“Face to face with Kerberos again,” Suppi grumbled. Well into his third sweet, he considered seeing his rival again. His eyes flashed as he imagined. “Mmm… I’ll eat it all! So many good and tasty things!” Manic gleam sparked like a live wire. “Ha! Take that, Care-Bear-os, you plushie!”

Nakuru tried to slip Suppi anther biscuit, but she was thwarted when Eriol too the last one from the plate. She contributed, “Yue-Oniichan would have to come out, right, Eriol?” She had an idea and looked hopeful. “I could talk to him on the phone! You’ll call him tonight, again, won’t you?”

Eriol made a non-committal motion with his hands. “Maybe.” Yue had never like telephones. When they first became commonplace, he fretted when Clow Reed used one, for fear of the electricity in the wires. Now that phones were cordless or mobile, he was more open to using them. He was no more talkative than in person, however. The times that Eriol had attempted video conferencing, Yue never looked at the screen. He was still more at ease with Eriol that way than in person. Eriol was sure it was because when he was a voice heard over an ordinary mechanical device, Yue could not feel the part of Eriol that was Clow. It was less confusing for the moon guardian.

Eriol was patient. Yue needed time, and time was something they both had. Even without extending his life, Eriol could have another hundred years in good health. Each day that went by reintroduced Yue gradually to the world as it was, through the eyes of his alternate self. Eventually, Yue would accept it.

⭐⭐☆⭐


	3. Yukito, Touya, Yue

Yukito and Touya both kept part time jobs in addition to going to school. Currently, they were not working at the same place. Yukito worked at a store that sold everything from candy to housewares, and needed someone a few times a week to do data entry, some bookkeeping, and fill in where they were short staffed. 

Touya had a tutoring job that he had expected to start with the new term, but when he arrived at the student center, he found out that he wouldn’t be needed until the end of the first week. Since Yuki would be at work for a few more hours, Touya decided he would go by Sakura’s school, instead of going directly home. He wouldn’t interrupt her walk home if she was with her friend Tomoyo or the other girls in her class, but he could check on Sakura and ease that strange, vacant feeling he had where his hunches used to be.

* * *

 

Yukito could see, by Touya’s glower, that Touya was not in a good mood. He stood waiting for Yukito in the sale aisle, giving more attention to the floor than to the shelves of winter-themed gift items. His mind was clearly not on off-season discounts. Yukito greeted Touya cheerfully anyway. “To-ya!” he called down the aisle to get the young man’s attention.

Touya turned away from the mark-downs. “Yo,” he answered. His expression improved upon seeing Yukito, but he still seemed unhappy about something.

“Were you waiting long?” Yukito asked. 

Touya shrugged. He picked up plastic travel mug painted with silver snowflakes. “Make sure they don’t put you on sale, too, by mistake,” he said. He lifted the mug and rested it on Yukito’s head.

“I’m not worried,” Yukito answered. He didn’t mind being teased because it meant he could he could get away with saying anything to Touya, himself. A lot of the time, Yukito was quiet with other people because he was not usually sure what was right to say and what was out of line. He understood why now; it because he wasn’t human and his upbringing was fake memories. He never knew if a thought was his own or Yue’s control. He appreciated being able not to worry with Touya. “They like me, here.”

“Of course they do,” Touya said.

Yukito looked up into Touya’s eyes. Being a rest for the snowflake mug meant Touya stood close and was indirectly touching him. Yukito reached past Touya for a picture frame. “This is cute!” He felt bold, leaning in to Touya in public. The store was closing up for the day and nobody was watching, but he still felt daring. “Maybe I’ll buy it,” he said, still standing in the crook of Touya’s arm.

Touya was the person most important to Yukito. Yukito realized that he valued Touya that way when Sakura asked him, that time. Like… a crush. He didn’t know how to tell if Touya would want to be his boyfriend. Touya didn’t go out on dates with anyone, so Yukito couldn’t compare himself to people that Touya liked that way. He knew he was important to Touya, though. He didn’t doubt it.

“Want to get something to eat?” Touya asked. He put the mug back on the sale shelf. 

“I’m pretty hungry. That would be great,” Yukito agreed. “Let me pay for this and one other thing.” He wound a path out to the front of the store, carrying the lead crystal picture frame. He found the other item in the hair accessories display, where he had seen it earlier, and was glad it was still there. It was the last one.

“For Sakura-chan,” he told Touya. “I thought of her when I saw it.” It was a hair clip, enameled in white paint, with pink glitter stars, and a dangling gold star-shaped bead.

“You don’t have to buy her stuff,” Touya said. He tried to see the price tag, but Yukito held it away.

“I like to do it,” Yukito said. He took it to a cashier and paid for both items. When he told the cashier it was a gift, she put the hair pin in a small bag with ribbon and a sticker.

Yukito handed the gift to Touya. “Here, will you give it to her for me?” he asked as they left the store.

“You don’t want to give it to her yourself?” Touya asked.

“I want her to have it right away,” Yukito said. “In case I forget it.”

“When do you ever forget anything?” Touya commented.

The ramen shop next door to the general store made a suitable spot for dinner. They took seats at the counter and put in their orders. Touya looked at Yukito wordlessly for a long moment, but seemed to decide against whatever he had thought to ask. While they waited for the food, Yukito wondered what he could say to brighten the mood. In the end, he didn’t say anything, and they set into eating the big bowls of noodle soup without conversation.

That, in itself, wasn’t remarkable. Yukito was happy just to be with Touya. He didn’t need a lot of talk to fill the space.

When they were out on the unpopulated street after their meal, however, Touya asked, “So you don’t feel like coming over tonight?”

“I…” Yukito was unsure what to say. “I hadn’t thought about it.” Yukito still stayed over at the Kinomoto’s at least once a week. Most of the time, they would stop over at Yukito’s place for a few hours, and then Yukito would get his overnight bag together and go home with Touya. Touya wasn’t comfortable leaving Sakura alone at home, so he rarely slept over at Yukito’s.

Yukito realized that by asking Touya to give Sakura her gift, rather than Yukito himself giving it, he had somehow made plans against sleeping over. “Maybe because the house is really mine now. I shouldn’t leave it unattended. I guess,” he said. “You could stay over, if you want,” he offered. “Your dad isn’t out of town.”

Touya brooded for silently until they reached the street where they would turn to each go home. He stopped and leaned against a garden wall. “That kid is back,” he said. “He’s in Sakura’s school, too, again.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. “That can’t be good, right?”

“I’m sure Sakura-chan is happy,” Yukito replied.

“I don’t want him around,” Touya said. He caught Yukito’s gaze with his own. “She is happy. She’s on cloud nine around him.” He pushed off from the wall, aggitated. “I saw them walking to our house together,” he said.

“To-ya!” Yukito interrupted. “Were you spying on Sakura-chan?”

Touya made a face. He sighed. He glared at the windows of the houses nearby. “Let’s go to your place,” he suggested.

“OK,” Yukito agreed. Touya didn’t seem any happier than he had been all evening, but he wasn’t glowering. Maybe Touya had just been hungry.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at his house. He let Touya in, and Touya shut the door behind them with the familiarity of having done so countless times. After they both took off shoes, Yukito headed to the kitchen. “I’ll make us a snack,” he said. “Milk tea?” 

“Whatever is fine,” Touya said, leaning on the counter.

“Are you disappointed about not having any work today?” Yukito ventured.

“Not especially,” Touya answered. “I mean yeah, I’d like the money sooner, but it’s no big deal.”

Yukito decided he would be a bit brave. “So… what is it that’s bothering you, tonight, To-ya?”

Touya stared at the floor without saying anything in answer. Yukito turned his attention to stirring the milk as it heated. When he turned off the heat, he looked up and saw that Touya was looking at him.

“I’m used to knowing,” Touya said quietly, “one way or the other, whether Sakura’s fine or not.” He took a breath and exhaled heavily. “Now that I can’t feel it, I can’t convince myself that the lack of  that ‘something wrong’ sense is normal for me, now.”

“Because you gave up your power,” Yukito said. “For me.”

“I’ve never really been normal,” Touya said. “I gave up wishing not to see ghosts and noticing things like that a long time ago. It’s weird not having that anymore, but it’s kind of a relief.

“The problem is that not feeling anything wrong doesn’t mean I can relax, and-- I worry that Sakura will need need me and I won’t know. When I’m with you, I can take you being you as proof that things are fine, but otherwise...”

In a crisis, Yue would be a Sakura’s side. If Yue appeared, Touya could follow after and still be involved. As long as whatever supernatural event was in play didn’t knock him unconscious. If that happened, Yukito couldn’t even fill him in, later, because he wouldn’t know. 

“That bothers you a lot, doesn’t it?” Yukito asked, wanting to let Touya know that he understood.

“So. When I checked on Sakura today, I saw her walking with that Li brat. And I followed them,” he said.

“To-ya…” Yukito admonished.

“Yuki, they were talking for a long time and… looking at each other.”

“They’re friends,” Yukito said. “Li-kun isn’t a bad person, Touya. He’s been at Sakura-chan’s side for a while now. Why do you think something is wrong?”

Even as he asked the question, Yukito saw the world begin to go white. He felt his consciousness sliding away, like a fainting spell, but now he knew it meant that Yue was taking his place.

* * *

 

“All is well with Sakura,” Yue said after he appeared before Touya. “I am watching over her, as I assured you that time I would, Touya.” He hovered a few inches above the floor, his wing-tips nearly brushing, but not quite. 

“I haven’t seen you for a long while,” Touya said. Yue had Yukito’s stature; however, his hovering put him at eye level with Touya. Touya was still curious about this being, this person who was and was not Yuki. 

“I would apologize for that…  yet, it’s better this way,” Yue said. “Trust that though you don’t see me, my guardianship of Sakura is constant.”

Yue had the advantage of Touya. Yue saw everything that Yukito did; if he was curious in turn about Touya, he could study him without being seen. Touya assumed that he did. He didn’t believe that Yue’s feelings were completely cold to him. After Touya had blacked out during the last big magic event, Yue had carried Touya to where Sakura was, instead of leaving him behind. Touya had pieced that much together.

“What about Li being here again? I thought it was all over when he went back to Hong Kong. If he’s here, something is happening. Isn’t it?” Touya prompted. When Yue lowered his eyes and remained silent, Touya continued. “Sakura traded that teddy bear she’s had in her room for the one he had with him. There’s something significant about that, I think.”

“Significance of a different nature than you think,” Yue answered quietly.

Touya released a long breath. “I get that part,” he admitted. It came out with more growl than he intended. “She doesn’t need a sweetheart. She’s barely a teenager.” Even as he said it, he thought about Kaho, and what that teenaged love had meant to him. But he had been _older_ , and he was a _guy --_ and even in his head, those sounded like weak excuses to say it was different for him.

“Syaoran Li is an honorable boy.” 

“Believe it or not, I get that,” Touya answered. “I remember waking up, seeing him there with Sakura, looking like he’d walked through seven hells. Leaning on that sword of his like he had given everything.”

Yue sighed himself, and drifted to the floor, a few strides away. “He gave his strength to support Sakura. I believe she could have done it with her own strength and the support of we who are pledged to her. Or perhaps it was meant to be that Clow’s heir would lend his magic. You know he was not intended for her, don’t you, Touya?”

“I don’t like the idea that anyone thinks she’s intended for anyone,” Touya answered. “This is my little sister we’re talking about.”

“And my master, too,” Yue responded mildly. He crossed his arms over his waist.

“Even putting that aside…” Touya folded his arms across his chest. He shrugged, feeling all at once tired through and through. “I’d be happy if nothing supernatural was coming down on her again. If I could know, either way.”

“You always protected her,” Yue said. “Is it difficult for you now? Do you feel the loss?”

“Of my magic, whatever that means? You heard what I said to Yuki a minute ago.”

“But do you accept being ‘normal’ now, Touya?” Yue asked.  

“I have to accept reality,” Touya said. Even to himself, it sounded dismissive. “I’m still trying to understand what’s normal for me now. What’s normal for all of us.”

All Touya really knew since handing his magic power over to Yue was what Touya could piece together by observation, after the fact. Fact 1: Sakura was well, healthy, and as spaced-out as ever. Fact 2: Yuki wasn’t disappearing anymore, and he, too, was as healthy and spaced-out as ever. Although, since finding out that he was not human, he had been more often lost-in-thought than cheerfully spacey. Touya didn’t like to see the shadow now added to Yuki’s personality. Touya reassured him that Yukito was his own, individual self, human in the ways that mattered most, when they talked about it. It was almost easy to forget that Yue was the light casting the shadow. It was  _ almost _ easy; Yue wasn’t forgettable.

Yue sighed again. His wings pulled in close to his body. “As am I,” he murmured. His wings curled around his body. Then he was gone, and Yukito stood in his place, looking slightly dazed.

Touya, moved by surge of gladness to have him back, stepped to him and pulled him into a hug. He mussed Yukito’s hair. 

Yukito didn’t resist. 

Touya released him. He knew Yuki would want to know what had been talked about in his absence. “Yue told me to stop worrying.” He said with a smirk, “He’s got it covered.” The smirk faded. “I want him to be right.”

“Oh,” said Yukito. “You should go home to Sakura-chan, then, I guess.”

There it was again, the impression that Yukito was nudging Touya away. Touya wondered if Yue was actually suggesting it. If so, then Yue was trying to be alone, which he couldn’t do if Yukito was sleeping over, nor with Touya around.

He chose to leave it as it lay. “I’ll head out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Let’s meet at the bakery on the way,” Yukito suggested.

“That sounds great.”

Touya put on his shoes, picked up his bag, and let himself out. Yukito waited at the door and watched him; he was there when Touya glanced back.

Having been reminded of Kaho got Touya thinking again about his feelings for Yukito. Touya wasn’t the same lonely, trusting teenager that had filled the loss of a mother with puppy love for a substitute. He felt like the breakup -- that is, when Kaho dumped him -- hadn’t done any good for his abandonment issues. It had left burn scars on his heart, and he was never going to jump in the deep end again without thinking twice.

He wanted to be happy and let the thing they had be whatever it was. With Yue in the mix, Touya didn’t know if he could ask for anything else. Thinking about it made him feel tired. It was like a still surface over dark, deep water, and he wondered what would swim up if he broke that surface.

When he got home, he didn’t bother announcing his arrival. Lights were on all over the house. He could hear video game noises from upstairs. As he went up the stairs, he could hear an occassional victory shout that was not Sakura’s voice, but was one he had heard through the door many times.

Sakura was on the phone, saying goodnight to the person on the line, so he waited a minute until she seemed done. Then he took Yukito’s gift out and knocked on Sakura’s door.

She called out, “Just a minute!” Then she opened the door. “Welcome home!” she greeted.

As he plopped the little bag with Yukito’s gift on the top of her head, he could see the stuffed animal that wasn’t a stuffed animal pretending to be a stuffed animal. While sitting in front of a game controller. It was enough to make Touya roll his eyes, but he resisted.

“It’s from Yuki,” he explained about the bag. Immediately, Sakura reached up and took hold of the gift. “He found it at his part-time job at the general store.”

“Yay!” Sakura cheered. 

She opened it up. Her smile grew bigger when she saw the hair pin. “I’ll send Yukito-san an email to thank him!” she proclaimed breathlessly.

She was genuinely thrilled with the trinket. Touya hid his smile. “Whatever. Go to sleep,” he said. He shut the door, still able to hear her noises of happiness.

He did some reading, then went downstairs to watch TV. Not much was on, but he found a documentary. He heard his father’s car pull into the driveway. When his father came in, they watched the rest of the show together, talking idly during commercials. They both went to bed early. Sakura had been in bed and asleep a long while by then.

* * *

 

_ “Cards?” _

_ Chimes, in the darkness. The master of the cards is in the dream. _

_ “Clear?” _

_ She is in loose, pink garments. Pajamas. _

_ She raises her arm, reaching out. _

_ “Who…?” _

_ Recognition. Almost. _

_ “You… are…” _

_ Then all is a storm, and darkness. _

 

⭐★☆End of Chapter 1⋆★⋆


End file.
